What My Little Easter Baby Has Taught Me About Control, Fear & Freedom

Honestly, I know there are people in my life who probably think they are a better mom than me because they have more rules, more structure…more control.

I wish I didn’t care what other people thought about me or my mothering – but I do. Mostly, I think, because I care so much about being a mom. It can be difficult to reconcile just how much you care about something with other people’s criticism of how you handle the thing you love. I’ve learned to see it for what it is, though –  a reflection of where other people are at and not a true reflection of me. Because what is true about me, motherhood, and how I view control, is that I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons that have left me a little beaten up at times, but ultimately – a whole lot freer. Because we cannot cling to control and freedom at the same time. Continue reading What My Little Easter Baby Has Taught Me About Control, Fear & Freedom

Great Expectations

I’ll never forget how I felt one particular day upon returning to the NICU after grabbing a bite to eat. The nurse on shift had updated my son’s vitals on the little white board in the cubicle that served as his home during his stay in the nursery: vitals/weight/ bath.

Bath. They had given him a bath. His first bath. And I had missed it. Continue reading Great Expectations