When We Want More But Keep Choosing Less

2018 is almost upon us, so you know what that means. Everyone from your favorite podcasters to your yoga instructor is asking you to start setting your goals and intentions for the new year.

I have a lot of thoughts about 2018. I think it’s going to be a really good year. Why? Do I know something in particular about this coming year that will really set it apart?

No. Not really.

But I have learned some things in the previous years that I plan to carry with me in order to make next year, great.

And that’s what I want to talk to you about today: Perspective. Planning. Purposeful living.

I would like to propose to you that the biggest barrier between you and achieving the kind of life you want to lead is NOT  circumstances or timing or other people and is almost entirely one thing. You.  Continue reading When We Want More But Keep Choosing Less

Brothers and BMX

In terms of coolness, I have to say my brother has always had me beat. He is just the kind of guy that everyone loves, with a contagious laugh and a knack for telling the types of stories that makes everyone double over with laughter. He is good at everything he does. Or to put it another way: My most popular blog post to date? Yea. It was about him. (You can read, “Here’s Lookin at You, Kid” here.)

Here’s the thing. I’ve always been a little jealous of my friends who have sisters. I mean sure, in high school it was all drama over who borrowed what and who took longer in the bathroom, but as adults, the sister bond sounds pretty great. I feel like I know so many girls who are down to hang out…as long as they aren’t doing something with their sister first. Continue reading Brothers and BMX

Your Kids & Your Job Are Not Your Purpose (And Other Life Lessons Learned From Play Dough)

I read a lot. As I read, nothing makes me happier than when I read two separate thoughts from two separate works from two totally different people and something just clicks. It’s that moment when everything comes together and your mind just goes from casually interested to totally blown. I had one of those moments recently when I read the following two quotes:

“Homemaking is not something that stands in the way of our deeper fulfillment; it becomes the ground that feeds it.”
-Shannon Hayes, Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture

“Let me make a distinction between career and creativity. Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. That joy that comes when you do something you love. That small voice that tells you, ‘I like this. Do this again. You are good at it. Keep going.’ That is the juicy stuff that lubricates our lives and helps us feel less alone in the world…Career is different. Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in control and then takes pleasure in reminding you that you aren’t. Career is the thing that will not fill you up and never make you truly whole. Depending on your career is like eating cake for breakfast and wondering why you start crying an hour later.
-Amy Poehler, Yes Please

I’ve come to the conclusion that most of us have a seriously dysfunctional view of purpose, careers and motherhood. We view these three very unique things as one. Then, when purpose starts pulling at motherhood and motherhood starts pulling at career and we try to find purpose in our career and try to make a career out of motherhood, wow, do things get messy. And complicated. And confusing. And dissatisfying. And we just end up eating cake for breakfast and crying an hour later.

Or to use a visual analogy, it’s like my son’s recent play dough/leggo man creation. He can say that he mashed some stuff together to make it “one,” but we all know it’s just two totally separate toys that are crammed together, totally incongruous and dysfunctional. Continue reading Your Kids & Your Job Are Not Your Purpose (And Other Life Lessons Learned From Play Dough)